"Hey! I havn't even given you your orders yet!"

"Oh, sorry sir."

"Just Shut-Up!!"

"Ok sir.."

"SHUT-UP!!!!"

The brave, battle-hardened soldiers then proceeded to very nearly wet their pants and flee the room in terror.

 

20 minutes later the now terrified-beyond-wetting-their-pants-super-elite-death-squad sets out to level the enemy mountain-hive with C-4 explosives and hand-held vulcan cannons. A half mile into their trecherous journey, our heros run into Jan Ferdinand Yachovich Von Lichenstein! The world renowned guide and Green Beret and muscle-man. Jan knew much about this area but couldn't help because he talked like this...." Ello? Ma name isss Yan. I vill be yur guide yisss?" and no one could understand him. Fortunatly, Private Bryn could speak German with all of his hands-on experience behind enemy lines. And so Jan joined the team of the now-reassured-super-elite-death-squad. And the continued on their journey.

 

Coming out of the flat land and into the foothills, the squad was attacked by a squadron of killdear! They were coming in fast and low, but the squad whipped out their hand-held vulcan cannons. Unsuspecting, the killdear moved in. Soon the foothills were covered in killdear pot pie. Jan then said, "I vill go now und retrieve ze killdears for fuud.", with that he set off collecting the bullet filled birds. "Zay vill be bery tazty viss barbicue sauce" he called back. "I don't know about this Jan guy." said Johnson, "He seems kinda strange to me." "I agree.", said Private Bryan, "he kinda freaks me out."

 

That night, after dinner, with the enormous pile of lead they had picked out of their killdear, they made body armor an some small action figures to play with. At 8:30 PM, the super-elite-battle-hardened-death-squad went to bed taking their teddy bears with them, except for Johnson who stayed up on watch. The next morning, Bob the Hillbilly Hic woke up first, the rest were brought quickly to reality by the blood curdling scream, "THEY GOT JOHNSON!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" A search party was quickly organized and the enraged-not-all-too-happy-super-elite-death-squad quickly combed the foothills. After approximately 45 seconds, they found what was left of Johnson, his special edition covert-ops teddy bear. Just as the other members of the squad quickly checked to make sure that their own teddy bears were safely tucked away, Johnson himself came meandering up the hill. Seven of the squad fainted for now apparent reason. "Where the heck were  you?!?!", shouted Bob the hillbilly hic "I was just getting a drink of that wonderfully, fresh, spring water over yonder hill.", replied Johnson. All the men turned to look at- "No, no guys over there."- but then Johnson too, stodd tansfixed. He saw what the men were staring at!! The evil mountain lair of the turkeys!! The Hive!!!